• 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance


last night my father said “good night mario” because i had been driving him around today and apparently going too fast, like the car racer mario andretti

but i didn’t know what he was talking about so i just sleepily replied “good night luigi”


not sure what it is about tiny bows on bras and underwear but theyre neat as hell




$20 for a selfie with me

but I can go to the dumpster for free


Group Assigments

  • Person: I have an idea
  • Me: So did Hitler
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